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The Difficult Child: Expanded and Revised Edition, by Stanley Turecki
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Review
PRAISE FROM PARENTS:"Dr. Turecki's understanding and knowledge of children with difficult temperaments is astounding.""The Difficult Child Program taught me to be a better parent to my difficult child and also made me a better parent for my 'easy' child.""Dr. Turecki's program has taught me the real meaning of motherhood."PRAISE FROM PROFESSIONALS:"This book is great! The approach to discipline is one of the best I have seen. It is a real contribution to parents."--T. Berry Brazelton, M.D."A clear and lucid prescription of how to deal with a difficult child. The compassionate understanding of the author is evident throughout."--Irving Phillips, M.D., Past President, American Academy of Child Psychiatry"A cornucopia of good ideas for assessing and intervening in these often disastrous relationship patterns."--Donald A. Block, M.D., Past President, The American Family Therapy Academy"A unique and extremely valuable book. I can recommend it enthusiastically."--William B. Carey, M.D., Director of Behavioral Pediatrics, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia; author of Understanding Your Child's Temperament"This volume will sit on my shelf between Spock and Gesell."--Richard L. Saphir, M.D., Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, The Mount Sinai School of Medicine"Virtually every teacher has taught a child who is 'difficult' to handle. This book is invaluable in helping teachers and parents understand the roots of this behavior and thus, helping them cope more effectively."--Ellen Galinsky, co-author of The Preschool Years, President, The National Association for the Education of Young Children
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From the Inside Flap
How to help--and cope with--the difficult child Expanded and completely revised, the classic and definitive work on parenting hard-to-raise children with new sections on ADHD and the latest medications for childhood disorders. Temperamentally difficult children can confuse and upset even experienced parents and teachers. They often act defiant, stubborn, loud, aggressive, or hyperactive. They can also be clingy, shy, whiny, picky, and impossible at bedtime, mealtimes, and in public places. This landmark book has been completely revised to include the latest information on ADHD, medications, and a reassuring approach to all aspects of childhood behavioral disorders. In this parenting classic, Dr. Stanley Turecki, one of the nation's most respected experts on children and discipline--and himself the father of a once difficult child--offers compassionate and practical advice to parents of hard-to-raise children. Based on his experience with thousands of families in the highly successful Difficult Children Program he developed for Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City, his step-by-step approach shows you how to: Identify your child's temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties Manage common--often "uncontrollable"--conflict situations expertly and gently Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment Get support from schools, doctors, professionals, and support groups Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide if medication is right for your child Make the most of the tremendous potential and creativity that many "difficult" children have Drawing on his experience withthousands of families in his highly successful Difficult Child Program, Dr. Turecki shows parents how to: Identify their child's difficult temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties Manage typical conflict situations expertly and kindly Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment Get support from schools, doctors, and others Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide whether medication is right for their child Make the most of the child's creativity and potential -->
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Product details
Paperback: 302 pages
Publisher: Bantam; Revised edition (March 14, 2000)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0553380362
ISBN-13: 978-0553380361
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
107 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#70,269 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I normally don't take the time to write reviews, but had to come back and do it since I'm looking for more resources. This book was recommended to me by my child's Pediatrician. It was a godsend! I am raising a strong willed child, and I did not realize that I was focusing on so many areas that didn't matter (but I thought were important). The information in this book made clear sense, and I saw my own child in the examples. My life was a struggle every single day! I knew that I was going to have a struggle with my child, and I knew what the triggers were; I just didn't know how to end them. My relationship with my child has improved so much, thanks to this book! It's still not perfect, but at least we have dealt with the issues we were dealing with. And the thing that's humbling and encouraging, is that I changed the way I behave/ respond, and my child's behavior followed. I was not a bad parent, I just didn't have the information I needed to guide my child toward better behavior.
My difficult child is now 15. I think I read this book when he was a little child, as I do remember it, and it is definitely written for parents with small children. My biggest complaint is that over half the book is "war stories." Story after story about children who are difficult and how and what they did to get this distinction. I already know how kids can be difficult. I was looking for more concrete strategies in dealing with an older difficult child as well. This book would also be a good read for new elementary teachers or teachers in training. Also, BOTH parents need to buy into this strategy, or it won't work.
I think this would be a good reference for parents struggling with toddlers, but it says nothing about kids older than 9. It was very much common sense and consistency, though he didn't rule out learning disabilities and ADD/ADHD. I just didn't find it that helpful for an older kid.
This book is a great resource for tools to use to help manage and improve a difficult child’s behavior. It is also helpful to know you are not alone in struggling with a difficult or manipulative child. I find myself more able to roll with the punches, laugh when I can, and see the improvement that has come from the strategies offered. We are celebrating success more than suffering angst. Still some tough days, but a very helpful and positive resource!
Difficult children can "ruin your life," which in turn can ruin theirs. Do yourself and your child a favor by taking the time to read this book and let it sink in. There are way more solutions to your trials and tribulations than you likely realize, and this book holds the key. You'll be glad you found this amazing resource. Best wishes for your (and your child's) success!
The author knows the reality of a difficult child. He was a child psychiatrist with easy kids then his next child was a "difficult" child. He said he even skipped church due to the embarrassment of his daughter's behavior. He really breaks down the differences between behaviors and sensitivities. He helps to identify what CAN be changed and how to zero in on those behaviors so you can focus on them. He also teaches how to discover what are not really behavior issues (example in my own home, my child was really sensitive to textures so would have a tantrum when I put shirts with certain seaming styles, like a two tone sleeve with a seam on the upper arm). Very good book to have, I had for my own child and buy it over and over to give to young moms at the end of their ropes.
I felt so alone in the fact that I was experiencing such a challenge with everyday routines because my daughter was always being so difficult. And especially after finding out that no one I was sharing my experience with was understanding why I am having such issues. No one was seeing the trouble I was referring to. This book was recommended to my by our pediatrician, after I mentioned to him that my daughter is very defiant, stubborn, picky, and overall negative and unhappy child. When I read the first pages of it I had the feeling that this book was based on my daughter's case. I could not believe it. Turns out that she is one of the very difficult children out there. She practically does not comb her hair, does not wear socks, because they bother her, wears shoes 1.5 size larger because otherwise they "feel tight" , only wears the oldest and most loose clothing, new clothes she cuts with scissors ,because they all "bother/itch" her. Sleeps uncovered, and with summer pajama -and we live in NJ, this winter was brutal! Falls asleep between 11.30pm-12am every night after a three hour fight, she is never sleepy. Sleeping is boring to her. Has constant nightmares about spiders, etc. She has extremely low sensory threshold-she is always hot. Does not eat lunch, dinner, eats only a handful of foods and certain brands , if I change the brand she wont touch the food... Anything you say she ignores, cant follow directions, lies, exists as if in a state of oblivion. When asked why she disobeys, she says that her "brain tells her to do so". It is so overwhelming that I was feeling like I need therapy for myself! This is just the beginning. I cant believe that I haven't found out earlier about ODD, everyone is talking about autism and ADHD that this particular disorder is overlooked. And IT IS SO CHALLENING AND DRAINING to be living with the constant fights and tantrums, which are inevitable and uncontrollable.. The book gives a very objective overview of typical situation which are a part of the everyday challenge. It provides a system which has the potential to alleviate the stress by helping you predict and understand the reasoning behind your child's behavior and the reason for the negative outlook, defiance and opposition over your authority as a primary caregiver. We are still very early in the process of monitoring and understanding the pattern of behavior which preludes the outburst, but I am optimistic that it will help us . Will follow up with another review in a few weeks.
My “difficult†son is now an accomplished engineer...this was on my night stand for years and referred to daily... surprise!!! He now has a bit of a difficult daughter and I purchased this (again) to help them guide her in the best way...don’t let the title put you off...it’s a beautiful way to raise a child to their potential
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